Friday, 20 February 2009
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I am in love with my best friend.
Original title, huh?
No, I'm not going to sit here and lavish you with all the numerous sweet things my best friend has done for me, I'll try to be brief as possible and still get my point across...
We met a few years ago, and he has always had girlfriends from the time that we became close. I have no idea how we stumbled upon each other, and neither does he, but we both agree that we're two very significant people in each other's lives. He helps me through everything, and is, unmistakenably, the only person I trust. We've come close to dating once, he asked me out while he was dating another girl though, and told me he was going to break up with her, and when he did, he wanted to date me. Uh... no. I did tell him I liked him too, and he promised that over the summer he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me and maybe things would fall in place for us. With that in mind, I prepared myself for the best summer of my life.
Wrong again, young one.
He broke up with his girlfriend, finally, and hooked up with one of my close friends at a party. I was hurt, but I wasn't mad, at either of them. I forgive easily, and don't really hold grudges. I told him that I didn't think I could be around him for awhile, and we stopped speaking for about a month til I got the "I miss you" texts, phone calls, and messages. He was my best friend, so this not-speaking thing was doing more harm than it was helping. Eventually, I gave in and we resumed our previous friendship. It's been a year since that incident, and we are more close than we have ever been. He's in a long term relationship with the girl he hooked up with that night, and they're approaching one year. Everything is perfectly good between us now. Or, so I thought.
We have always been a flirty duo, more flirty than him and his own girlfriend. We hold hands, he gives me piggy back rides, we give each other eskimo kisses, we snuggle, we have hour long phone conversations every night, we have sleepovers, and I've even reached the pathetic point where if I'm upset, I can't fall asleep without him. This leads to people thinking we're dating... which drives his girlfriend absolutely crazy. He's received numerous threats from her that if he continues to hang out with me, she will dump him. I tell him that I just want him to be happy, and if he wants to be with her, I'd understand. He laughs in my face, every single time, tells her to suck it up, and they get on with their relationship, and we get on with ours. The point is, everybody that sees us together assumes we're dating, when I have to continuously tell all my friends and family that he is, in fact, dating another girl, I get screamed at. Not because of my wrong-doing, because he has never cheated on her with me in any way, but because they think we are "just the cutest couple" and the two of them together "are not even close to right." They've broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count.
The most recent time they've broken up has been the weirdest though, he confessed his feelings for me. He told me he wanted to date me, but as long as it didn't break our friendship. Before I even knew what was happening, he was dating her again. These mixed signals are killing me...
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Comments (4)
Take it from me, mixed signals = he's just not that into you. Yes, sometimes mixed signals result when the guy is shy or inexperienced, but NINE times out of ten, it just means he isn't interested. I'm sure you're a good catch, but fact is, this guy has had multiple opportunities to simply be with you and hasn't followed through with it.
So I highly, highly, highly suggest you move on. He may be a decent guy to keep as a friend, but as a potential relationship partner? I vote NO. Judge him against his actions, rather than his words. Because fact of the matter is, he's not following through with what he's saying to you.
Make the first move and move on. There ARE better guys out there for you :)
I totally can relate. Am actually in love with my best friend and got the wrong signals before so I kinda expected that he likes me back but I was wrong. I just told him that I live him and didn't get any reactions. not sure if he understood what I was trying to tell him or he just doesn't want to talk about it. I've proved myself that I was right all along, he's not into me so now, i'm not just moving on, i am moving forward. :)) I also suggest that you move on. i guess it's true when they say actions speak louder than words. there are better guys out there. it's just a matter of waiting for the right time. stay positive. :)
@the_bonsai_tree@xanga - Thank you so much. As much as this answer sucks, because it's not what I wanted to hear, it's what I needed to hear. I'm clouded by my friend's opinions of what they want to happen, and all it's doing is making it harder for me to move on. I needed to hear it from someone that we will NOT make the perfect couple, so thanks so much.
@pumpkin_19 - Aw, well I'm sorry it didn't work out for the two of you. I'm glad you're moving forward though, and I will try to as well. I think I'm in a much better position now, than I was a few months ago, and I think it'll be easier this time to get over him. I mean, it's not like I have to keep him out of my life, I still get to be with him whenever I want, I just can't... "be with him". That's not too bad.
@allthesweetnothings - the fact the we can't be with them should not ruin great friendship. :)