Saturday, 07 March 2009

• no more feelings.

  Oh wow, I haven't been on here in a long time. Let's see what's happened...

  My best friend broke up with his new girlfriend, already. My best friend's best friend and I never went on that date, and he turned out to be a real.. um.. to put it nicely, arrogant moron. That "other" guy and I have completely stopped talking, he tried IM'ing me the other day, but I wasn't home, and he lost his phone, so I can't contact him, and it also mean he doesn't have my number, and I have no way of giving it to him. Pooper.

  None of this really matters, because I have a guy! Okay, okay, okay. We're not "officially" dating, but we're in a lot of classes together, I've liked him before in the past, we're going to be hanging out on our next day off (two fridays from now) and today he shyly invited me to come over to his house. He's the most adorable boy, and personally, I used to think he was out of my league up until this year. I've changed a lot this year, and I never would have realized that we're good for each other until one of our mutual good friends pointed it out to us that we're cute together and we make each other laugh and we're compatible. Everything's really great right now.

  My best friend and I have been significantly drifting. He's been busy with what I call his slutty entourage. (He has so many girls in his life right now that are interested in him, it's ridiculous), and I've been busy with my boy and my other guy friends that we haven't really spoken much, and we haven't seen each other in over a month. Things have been seriously hectic, and the distance keeps us pretty much apart. I now have realized that I will always have the slightest feelings for him, they won't go away, but I can say honestly at this moment in time, I don't want a relationship with him, I'm not in love with him, and so what if he gives me butterflies? My feelings for him have diminished a lot, I'm not sure if it's just because our closeness has kind of disappeared, or because we haven't seen each other and spent time together in a month and I'm just forgetting how amazing it feels to be with him, or what? But the feelings have definitely gone down a significant amount, to the point where I can basically say I don't have any. I know I still do though, so I won't make that bold of a statement. Anyways, we had a good talk today, the first one in a long time. Lately, when we've been on the phone it's been kind of hurried and there's been a lot of tension and fighting, but today it was cute and playful like we normally are. At the beginning it was kind of harsh though, we were talking about love, and he said he loved me, and I laughed and made a sarcastic comment about how that couldn't possibly be true. I was just kidding around, but he got seriously offended saying something to the affect of "I will never stop loving you." and then made another comment like "I will never be able to replace you, and I will never try to replace you." It made everything seem good again. Although we're distant at the moment, it felt like we were a million times closer again.

  I hope everybody else is doing good, sorry I haven't been talking to anybody in a bit. I've been seriously wicked busy. I'm going to call my best friend and go to bed. Goodnight. <3

  • 12:31 AM
  • 30 Views
  • 2 eProps
  • 1 Comment